Needing You
by psloveml
Summary: [UPDATED! 1/27 Ch.5!!] set after EoTW after the disastrous night Liz needs help from herself but when the gang realizes somethings wrong, it maybe too late
1. Helplessness'

a couple weeks later  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Parker wait outside the hospital room. Things were bad. As Mrs. Parker cries on her husbands shoulder he looks over   
at their daughter lying in the bed across the glass helpless. He breathing supported only by a pump on the corner. Never believing this could   
have happened to his baby Lizzie.  
  
Hearing footsteps running down the corridor towards them, Mr. Parker looks up and sees Liz's best friend Maria and her boyfriend  
Michael running towards them. He kisses his wife's forehead and whispers to her, "our baby will be alright..", as he goes to meet the new   
visitors he murmurs to himself, " she's got to be alright.."  
  
morning after Future Max leaves  
  
next morning.  
  
~staring at these people. happy and "in love" Liz felt sick to the stomach. For what she did. For the repeating scene in her head of Max's face  
the whole entire night, she didn't get much sleep. And here she was back to being "good peppy girl Liz Parker", when in truth she couldn't   
feel at all.~  
the bell rang. School. Max.  
  
"great just what I needed. Remainders. Just remember, did it for him, you did it for him..yeah like that helps..psh..I'm going to die literally  
because of him for what I feel.." murmuring to herself she doesn't hear Maria sneak up on her.  
  
"did what for whom? Max?"  
  
jumping and dropping all of her books Liz turns to Maria with a surprised face.  
  
"oh no.. I mean, nothing I gotta get to class" trying to rush off, she knew Maria would find out from just looking at her on how Liz really  
felt at that moment.  
  
Maria looks questionably at Liz, automatically sensing something's up.*Must be with Max, at least those two know they love each other  
Spaceboy on the other hand..* glancing at Liz she notices how Liz looks, like someone had just died.  
  
"you okay chica? you don't look so good.. what happened? did Max do something again?" searching her face for answers.  
flinching at the sound of his name, Liz just walks quickly away from Maria into her classroom.  
  
"Liz?..Liz!!.. what the..."  
Alex comes up and sees Maria and watches Liz run to her classroom.  
  
"she still has five minutes to go to her class. what's her rush?"   
"Alex something's up. something happened last night. I think" Maria turns to find Max coming toward them.  
"like what??" Alex said aloud and sees Max and quiets down at the look of him.  
  
Max looked like hell. Bags under his eyes and a grim look that screamed 'don't mess with me today'. Maria had called out to him but he just  
headed into his class with no response.  
  
"now something's definitely up between them."  
"you don't know that. maybe they just didn't have a good night sleep" Alex said noting that Maria had a tendency to overexagerate everything.  
"but those two?? not likely. We'll figure it out later.. Shit class!! We'll talk later Alex bye.." Maria yelled leaving Alex to look after her.  
  
*alien love. messes with your mind man..*  
  
  
Liz sits in her regular seat for chem. class. knowing that Max would be coming in soon.  
  
*"we had a great wedding"* shaking her head strongly Liz gets Future Max out of her mind.  
"I always have to go through things like this huh??"  
  
"what??" hearing that voice Liz stops and looks up from her book. Max. something inside her was breaking apart again. *is this how its always  
going to be?? no more closeness' me just empty..I did this to myself huh?? Wonder if he hates me..of course he does! He looks bad. Hurt.  
Well of course he does you did practically break his heart last night. But for his own good, yeah keep saying that Parker.. this isn't helping at all*  
getting stressed out Liz closes her eyes as the pain inside was getting worse.  
  
"you okay Liz?" Max said in a cool tone. Memories of last night were still going through his head, but he still couldn't fully believe what  
he saw. *Liz sleep with Kyle??* Not his Liz.  
  
"yeah Max, just tired.."  
  
Looking at Max she sees him become pale and more angry if that was possible.  
"I bet.." he whispers.  
  
Hearing him say that Liz felt even more sick. *Why do I feel like this, this is crazy..I can't take this though. I can't go through a whole day with   
Max pretending nothing happened and then coming out with comments like that. I've got to get out of here*  
  
Grabbing her things Liz gets up to leave making all her classmates look at her.  
"Ms. Parker...and where do you think you're going?" the teacher asked..Ignoring him Liz exits the class with Max right behind her.  
  
"Liz!!" the yelling behind her was getting louder. She ran faster to get away from Max. * I need to think. Be alone. God..* Not realizes where she  
was going she bumped into Kyle coming around the corner running. Hitting the wall after the collision she feels something wet coming down   
head. Letting the dark pool surround her, Liz closes her eyes and decides to let it come.  
  
  
  
ok so that's chapter 2. now tell me whats up everyone. change something? make something happen. this is all in my head lol. just trying to see   
what flows. so I'll change some things later on I suppose. but for now this is it. I'll try to update soon. chapter 3 should be on its way soon.  
leave me something... reviews are my fav! -Sali 


	2. Stop Feeling

Needing You by Sali (psloveml)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Disclaimer: if i'd own any of the characters i'd be having much more fun then writing i'd be doing something else completely.. hehe.. so no i dont own the characters, actors, or storylines.. unless you know Jason Behr's my husband hehehe i know i know paranoid oh well lol  
  
Authors note:ok so no Tess in here it'll be weird but it'll have to do i'm getting writers block i haven't written fanfiction for a long time so please r&r alright?? everything else should go along any comments give them to me it'll help alright? thanks guys and enjoy!!   
  
  
  
"so its all true you were meant to be with her, what Nasedo said was true. Tess is your destiny."  
  
"the thought of you kept me alive… you made me human… I love you Liz"  
  
"I love you…"  
  
~as the tears roll down her face, more flashbacks come to mind~  
  
"I knew this was meant to be"  
"No.. what I said earlier I still mean.."  
  
"you do have a destiny Max.. I can't stand in the way of it"  
" .. but you mean everything to me.."  
" …good bye Max…"  
  
~she sat there contemplating why all the bad things always have to break her heart repeatedly over and over again. Starring at the sky wandering where he is now. What happened after he went "poof" into the air, he had just vanished. Though he was just regular "max" just older.. When he left she felt even more empty again. Tears streaming down her face freely once again she thinks back to the last couple of days..~  
  
" you're not Max!!"  
  
"you have to help me fall out of love with you.."  
  
"the look of guilt on his face.."  
"I need a favor.."  
  
"..I'm going to be alone.."  
"..Maybe, maybe not… its like I always said Liz, we create our own destiny…"  
  
" I want to have my wedding dance.."  
  
~thinking about it all, everything that's been happening to her for awhile now… she looks up at the wall where Max once wrote ME + LP about one year ago and finally it tears her apart thinking about it.. She'll never get what she use to dream of since Max healed her at the Crashdown that fateful day.. She'll never have the life long love, the house full of kids. It was never there for the promise, only danger and running away from everything she knew, everything familiar. Slowly moving down to the floor of her balcony Liz Parker lies against her brick wall as she feels the coldness of the cement and the emptiness of her heart as the darkness she sees takes over.  
  
  
  
ok..so what do you think i've had writers block on good ideas for a fanfic Roswell so this is what   
I came up with.. get back to me ok?? give me ideas if you like it or not.. but be nice!! I haven't done this   
for over a ..well awhile..second part should be coming soon...-Sali 


	3. The Pains Gone

Needing You  
  
authors note: since this story is going to take place in a "past/present" type of form throughout the story i'm just going to label the past as "past" and then a number until i figure out a better time plot and present as "present" all pretty self explanitory until i figure out the time plot for the story until then just bare with me and here you go .. hope you enjoy.. and please!! r&r because [not to be bribing anyone haha] but i dont want to write for no one so i'll post when i get reviews alright?!? enjoy =p  
  
present; hospital  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Parker!!" Maria yelled, " I came once I heard. I knew something was wrong with her. What happened? Is she alright? Will she be okay?? Tell me something!!"  
  
Michael reached for Maria and pulled her to his side. "Maria calm down. I'm sure she'll be fine. Breathe baby" Michael looked at Mr. Parker for reassurance. Silenting knowing that Liz wasn't okay, even though no one else knew..looking at his employer he'd never seen Mr. Parker's face like what it looked like now.. like nothing seemed to be alive in his eyes at the moment. *Liz..you gotta pull through..please be okay..* Michael closed his eyes as he said a prayer while holding Maria.. expecting to get a bigger reaction when Maxwell found out.  
  
[past]  
  
Liz woke up staring at this particular ceiling that wasn't hers or the schools but looked familiar trying to get up she started down at the bed and immediately noticed where she was. Max's. The smell, deco. of the room, the necessary thigs that for a guy should be on the floor such as clothes and towels and papers but for Max * no..no..no..he's every girl's dream, God what am I doing here?!?* Getting up and looking at herself in his mirror she examined her head to see if there was a bump from before, but of course there was nothing there. *Max must have   
healed me* realizing the danger that Max might have seen something about Future Max she rushed out of the room toward the living room only to hear the distant voices downstairs. Slowly and quietly descending the Evans' staircase Liz sat down leaning against the wall as she heard all her friends talking..  
  
Max paced back and forth in fron of the group. "This isnt like Liz. She wouldn't do this.."  
  
"What wouldn't she do?! I mean hello! You're an alien from another planet. That's not likely either Max.." Maria exclaimed.  
  
Isabel and Michael both looked confused. They all got pulled out from their last two periods from school because of same " big emergency concerning Liz". Everyone including Kyle eand Alex were there watching Max freak out.   
  
" You mean you haven't heard?!" Max looking at all of them expecting them to know off the back.  
  
Kyle stepped up, " No. No ones' heard. Its not that big of a deal. Look Liz just needed someone and.. it wasn't what it seemed Max." cautiously stepping towards Max only to pull back at the site of his face. " You slept with her!! How is that not a big deal?!? Its exactly what it seems Kyle! What are you doing here anyways?! Get out!!" Max stepped towards Kyle threateningly. "Look. I can't explain it, only Liz can but I did not sleep with Liz!!" Kyle yelled back trying to get Max to understand, but he knew he couldn't tell Max directly what was up. Only Liz could   
do that and had the right to.. not like he knew what happened last night anyways.  
  
"Wait What?!? Liz slept with who?!? What?!? Liz slept with anyone?? Someone??" Maria getting off the couch with an unbelieveable expression. "No. Liz wouldn't do that. No. She loves Max way too much to do something like that!!" Looking between Max and Kyle as they starred at each other with a hatred that filled the room.  
  
"Somone explain!" Alex yelled. He couldn't believe his best friend Liz Parker would sleep with anyone but Max Evans. It just wasnt possible. Even more sleep with anyone at this time in her life. Or now!  
  
"Yeah.. Max you know that Liz wouldn't do that to you. Everyone knows that. Let alone sleep with Kyle Valenti. Please Max cmon now. Think." Isabel started to say as Kyle started to retort her exclamation. She had wanted to put some distance between Max and Kyle with them looking at each other as if they'd kill one another in just another second if they could. While Michael stared at the television, turning it one with his powers. *Whatever..*he thought. "oOo..Cribs, I love this show." Michael said to himself as everyone else seemed to yell at each other all at once.  
  
Liz had heard enough. The guilt of everything else in the world was already on her. She didn't need breaking up her closest friends. She marched into the Evans' bathroom looking for something sharp. She'd had enough! The pain, the love, the danger in her life..she didn't want to feel that anymore. She saw Isabel's razor and picked it up as she looked at her face through the mirror. Thinking about what she was doing she closed her eyes and bit down on her lips as she felt the blade go down on her skin and cut through her wrist. *Only a little pain...not asmuch as before..* She could feel the blood going down her arm, looking and opening her eyes she watched as Liz sighed in relief. *Its gone..the pain's finally gone..* Smiling down as she could no longer feel anything..   
  
  
  
so continue? or no? dont like something? want me to add something else? go another way? review and leave a note. alright? i need your help. i'll only continue this if you like it [meaning review me!!] if not then i'll end it real soon thanks guys..-Sali 


	4. Not Parker

Needing You  
  
a/n: I changed the chapters. So everything in chapter 4 lets just say didn't happen just yet ... those events didn't exist yet alright?? Someone left a review and I started thinking and I changed it. So heres the revised version. Don't worry I'll work my way up to what I did before. Enjoy. Oh and you know my "un-bribe" lol. Reviews please! You all know I love comments. I'll update soon. I've already written them down haha.   
  
so on with the story..  
  
  
  
Liz looked at herself in Max's mirror. Sketches o long lines of blood around her stomach, arms, and legs reflected back at her. She had stopped the bleeding from each scratch about 30 minutes ago. Everyone was still downstairs arguing about "the truth". What Liz really did. Why Kyle wouldn't  
tell them what really happened that day. Liz had listened to each and every comment. Hear them bitch about every little act she had done recently, all through that whole time Liz ha d taken away every piece of hurt and guilt with Isabel's razor.  
  
Looking at herself now and thinking back to what she'd done, she felt ironically disgusted yet relieved. Relieved that every pain she had about Max, about Maria, about her parents, about herself..it was all gone. It was a brand new Liz Parker. But through that, disgusted because this is what she had to do to feel like herself again. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. Hell, she wanted to be a scientist she knew what kind of problems she'd have to face if she got too attached to cutting and hurting herself. But even though, her logic and reasoning just didn't seem to cut through her  
brain on what was right at the moments time. In her head, Liz knew she'd do it again. Without a second thought since she knew she'd feel this certain way. Cleaning Isabel's razor so that no blood showed Liz smiled and covered her scars as best as she could. It was a new day. A new Liz  
Parker, despite how she got here. Going down to the Evans' living room, she still heard all her friends talking. *About me nonetheless*. She sat back down against the wall as she listened to them rant about the infamous Liz Parker.  
  
in the living room  
  
Everyone had gone a wall. Talking at the same time and shouting at each other. Maria and Isabel were yelling at each other defending Liz's honor against Kyle. Questioning if he raped or forced her into something she didn't want o happen. Max couldn't blame them, nor did he want to. Alex  
was trying to get Michael's attention from the television. Telling him to help and try to figure out what's up with Liz like everyone else had seemed to be doing. Giving examples of the many times Liz had risked her life for his "race". Whining at the truth, that Liz did put a lot of faith in his "race" of history. It'd be two hours since they first brought Liz there and she still hadn't woken up yet. Max had desperately wanted to check on her make sure she was really there and safe. But knew he couldn't, not with the chaos already at stake. The tension in the room was getting to him when he decided to shut them all up. 'Hey! Shut up! This isn't helping any of us. Now we need to figure this out before something happens to her alright?! I'm telling you Liz isn't like this. She wouldn't do that...' trying to convince himself of the truth that laid plainly in his heart. Even though Max saw it with his own eyes...his heart seemed to believe a totally different matter.  
  
Maria stopped looking at Kyle so intently. She knew her best friend, she wouldn't sleep with Kyle when she loved Max so much. Liz wasn't like that. 'Max is right. I know Liz, she wouldn't sleep with Kyle out of the blue unless..' getting an idea of what might have happened to Liz to make her seek Kyle's help.  
  
Alex looked up, 'Unless what?!?'  
'Well what if its an alienistic kind of situation?' Maria thought aloud.  
  
Michael looked up then. The whole situation was getting out of hand, and even though Liz had helped out when it came to finding the truth about their past, she was still just another girl. 'Would you guys just stop. Even if it is an alien thing.. No you know what? It's probably not. Why would they go through her when they could just go right after us?! Ever thought that maybe little Miss Parker was just horny and wanted some? So she couldn't find Max and Kyle was the next best thing?!'  
  
Kyle started to get frustrated. He started to hate being part of this "I know an alien" club. ' Look I know most of you don't like me but I did not sleep with Liz.'  
  
Max decided to justify that statement. If Kyle wanted to prove his innocence he wanted the truth. 'Alright. If you say so Kyle, but if you want us to believe you then tell us what really happened that day..' staring at Kyle head on. As fast as Max was concerned Kyle was in bed with 'his' Liz. And as fast as he'll take that factor, he wouldn't believe otherwise unless there was proof. And Liz could back that up.  
  
Sighing' knowing that it wasn't his right he walked away. 'I can't tell you.' Hearing everyone grunt as if they knew he was lying from the start. 'Only Liz can. I'm sorry.' He looked up at Max and tried to see if he believed him. Only thing Kyle saw was hatred. Trying to get ahead of everything,  
he though it was best if he left. 'Look. I'm sorry. I can't say anything because its not for me to tell you. I should go as I see you all are about to kill me with your alien powers or otherwise. Tell Liz to call me..and that I hope she's okay...Bye' heading out the door as everyone watched him.  
  
Max looked on as the others looked to him with their blank faces on what to do next. *God, what are we going to do now?!?*  
  
  
  
so comments? questions? Want something else to happen? review me...-Sali 


	5. Moment of Truth

Needing You  
  
a/n; Hey guys I haven't been on for awhile since Finals and SATs started two weeks ago have I mentioned I hate school!! Anyways I just finished typing this so I wanted you guys to know that I"m going to be updating hopefully back to regularly like before but if not at the least once a week dont know when but I'll figure it out. So also I rewrote chapter 4 so you have to go reread that alright?!? Oh and dont forget to review me tell me if you like if any helpful hints to what you want alright?!? I'll be here waiting.. now.. as I was saying on with the story..  
  
past; Max's house  
Looking down at her scratches Liz started to feel disoriented and lightheaded as she headed back to Max's room. Feeling the on-coming irritation from her cuts liz took aspirin from Max's dresser. Not thinking how many she should take she took what looked like two, but was really a handful with water. * I should get home.* heading towards Max's window for her escape she felt herself falling down. *Aspirin must be kicking in already *she thought. Liz couldn't feel herself bleeding of see the fact that she was walking in circles. Smiling because she couldn't feel she opened Max's window until her body and mind gave up from the overdose and lost of blood. She felt herself fall as she desperately tried to hold onto something but failed. Liz screamed loud as everything she saw disappeared.  
  
back to the present  
  
Maria had the pleasure of telling max what had happened to Liz. After her and Michael left the hospital they had called Isabel and Kyle to stay with Liz. *God. This can't be happening. I can't lose my best friend.* Remembering Isabel's reaction to Liz's condition. She had never thought she cared that much about Liz. Thinking back that's exactly how she had reacted when the Parkers had called her earlier that morning. Only worse. Isabel had gotten silent and her back as straight as a board only to lose color from her face as fast as a snap. But Maria had done all those things and then some. From running into Michael's classroom dead white as a ghost to screaming her lungs out in the parking lot to finally fainting at the wheel. * Yup. I topped Isabel of immensely.*  
  
Now Maria had to deal with telling Max. Everyone else had chickeneed out leaving Maria to deal with the alien king himself and his own reaction. Alex's passing had only been a couple of months and even though Liz cracked the case and knew Tess killed him no one had suspected Liz to lose control in herself. Not with cutting and certainly not with taking too many pills. Everyone had thought that Liz and Max were doing good. But Maria had guessed that after the whole " searching for Max's baby" saga started things got more intense for Liz. Always being the supported person, always being there and being happy for everyone else. No one suspected Liz to be depressed or suicidal. Until now. But something in Maria's gut told her Michael had known. She didn't know how but somehow..he'd known Liz's health was in danger and he didn't tell anyone. He didn't act surprised to the bruises and cuts on Liz's body or the fact that she had overdosed. He seemed calm and always ready to comfortMaria and being there for her and everyone else today. *Definetly not Michael Guerin.* But now wasn't the time to think about that. She had to figure out a way to gently break the news down to Max. *Let's hope he takes it better then I did.*  
  
Reaching the Evans' driveway, Maria got out slowly as she breathed in and you. Trying to figure out how Max was going to react. What'd he say. What'd he do. *Moment of truth* as she approached the door and rang the bell, Max answered and smiled at her. 'Hey Maria! Whats up?!' Not commenting Maria simply just smiled at him thinking of what to do next. After a few minutes she couldn't handle smile anymore. She just looked at Max. * God this is going to devastate him. What am I suppose to say? And how am I going to break it to him that , even with his healing powers he can't save the one person that means everything to him?! Oh Max..* tears going down her face Max stepped up and looked at her straight in the eye. 'Its Liz huh?!.. Maria what happened!?!' Pulling her in and slamming the door.. the slam made Maria think of Liz, how she could be dying and become something that seemed to never exist. *Like she left without saying goodbye..* Max looked up at Maria and knew that nothing was ever going to be the same.  
  
tbc..   
  
so comments what do you want to happen to Liz because I'm on writers block again .. I'll get back soon. Hope you enjoyed please review me becasue you know my little saying hehe.. I'm not bribing you honest!! hehe. -Sali 


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